have u ever cut you're self?

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Re: have u ever cut you're self?

Post by Forace on Thu Jan 27, 2011 2:49 pm

Natt, your dad is a real asshole. NO parent has the right to call their children whores, bastards, whatever. Your father needs therapy, too. It seems he has some real bad problems to solve. And his anger isn't the biggest one.

Because -I'm just speculating, guessing from what you have said- if he takes YOUR money, and you lose your stuff to the bailiff and such... He uses all your money on something else than the rent and bills, am I right? So I'm just GUESSING he's an alcoholic. I'm really, really sorry if I'm wrong!

But your dad is very bad for you. I'd advice you get away from him. No matter how much you love him. He doesn't deserve you.

It's almost the same with me and my dad. He was the fucking BOSS in the family. My mom obeyed with every thing he wanted. So did me and my sister, we were so afraid of him. He used to hit us when we were younger. Mom also told me he once hit her really bad and left her on the side of the road! Mom walked to a hospital herself. So one day my mom had enough and they got divorced. Of course dad was devastated, he tried to kill himself with his diabetes medication. I was pretty angry that he didn't succeed :D OK, that was an awful thing to say, but you must remember how much we all hated him. So, then my sister moved to live with our mom, and I was alone with dad. He didn't hit me anymore, I was too big for that :D I don't mean physically, I'm really small! I'm only 154 cm tall :DD I mean that I understood that I could call the police and such. But he was really suffocating emotionally.

So it was extremely liberating to move away from him, when I was accepted to study in some other city.

He never called me a whore or anything, he was just really bad at keeping his calm when we did something wrong in his opinion. He has always helped me and my sister. He's a lot better now, he has a new wife and a new house and he seems happy. He had a medication for depression for a while. I'm not that scared of him anymore, since I'm an adult and we have 500 km between us :D But his diabetes is worse, he needs insulin shots now. He didn't need them before.

KerliPoland wrote:Hmm..sometimes I think that eating disorder (ed) has be a reason…I heard that people with ed do it often. Yes, when I feel better I don’t want cutting myself. When I see my body I feel too fat and when I see on mirror I see myself…but I don’t know who is in the mirror..Yes, I feel my bonnes but I don’t see it. But I hate when I feel my bones. For me all people are skinny. I feel that I’m the most fat in the world. I know that I can die and this is reason why is theraphy.
Your eating disorder is a consequence of people treating you badly. They have crushed your self-confidence. You just need to get it back :)
You are searching for yourself. Just like Kerli did when she was younger. Just like I did. Just like everybody else on this planet has done, or are doing it right now. You look into a mirror and see a stranger. I don't know what to say next... How about you stop comparing yourself to others? Concentrate on making your body better. And I mean by better, gaining weight. I guess exercising wouldn't be bad either. Since you don't eat, and your body has used all the fat for energy, it starts using your muscles for energy! A human body needs fat! It's your fuel. Food is your fuel.

So, no more pro ana sites! Those people are sick, and don't know what they're talking about.
No more comparing your body to others! You are unique, you can never look like someone else.
No more calorie counting! You need food, I already said that. Eat what you want! Even if it's just a little.
No more thinking that you are stupid, a whore, or something else! Your father is wrong. The people calling you stupid are wrong. You speak two languages! You can create art! You write awesome poems! You can walk and talk just like everybody else. I don't see how a person like that could be stupid.
And no more cutting ;)
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Re: have u ever cut you're self?

Post by Krissy on Thu Jan 27, 2011 3:22 pm

You know! I hate how the media makes skinny the perfuct body image.It's so wrong.Everybody is beautiful in our own way. We all come in different sizes and shapes.

Wow.....I don't really know what to say but what the people are telling you is wrong.So wrong. I hope that in time you will feel better.


Well let's just say i like my body more then i did when i was in high school/

You really need to be around people that make you feel good.

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Re: have u ever cut you're self?

Post by Winter on Thu Jan 27, 2011 3:46 pm

I remember when I was like 3, my father locked me to bathroom so many times. I don't even know what I did wrong, I didn't even see him much. I was in kindergarden all day since both my parents worked and dad was coming home at about 9 pm. Wtf. He was the Boss too. Wherever we went, whatever I did, he was giving me orders what to do. I remember so many times I broke down in front of random people because of him. But once I grew older, it started to backfire at him. I learnt how to fight back, talk back. I once called him 'idiot' because he had driven me mad and I was sick of him and he hit me in the head for a few times, he had to apologise later. I forgave but I NEVER forget. And last year he did what he could the furthest: he sneaked on me and got all my text/msn messages and threads and phone calls and everything from a friend of his, and both my mom and dad didn't like it. I had to explain who every single person was on my contact list and my mobile contacts. Can you believe it being done to a 15 year old teenage girl? Of course I can have a private world but they didn't think so. Since then I have no internet connection, haha, I believe they don't know me using my mobile as my internet. Well since then I am seeing psychiatrist, because I got a TERRIBLE depression. I started cutting myself, I was bursting into tears for no reason. And I became paranoid. Seriously. I thought that I was being watched by my parents all the time and I couldn't get over that feeling for a long time. I still sometimes think so. Since we've started visiting psychiatrist and me started using antidepressants, they started to smother me less. But one day, I caught my mom and grandma started talking about me just after I left the room. I couldn't help but listen. And I didn't like what they were saying. So I popped in and told them I was pissed off and mom scold me that it wasn't nice to sneak on them and I told her I learnt sneaking from THEM. There are so many other things. I tell you, I've seen World War the 3rd. I was there and fighting! Whatever. They're treating me better since then but as I said, I forgive but I don't forget. Writing those things made my eyes wet but hey, what don't kill you will make u bleed to death. Oops, I mean, makes u stronger. =D Oh I didn't mention about my suiciding fails, but those are whole diffrent stories! I don't give a damn about my parents anymore. Few times I told them I wished they divorced, cuz it would be easier for me to handle them one by one. My family is now something that I need until I can step on my own feet. And I already told my parents that I don't love them like I did before. And my thoughts about them forever changed. I'm back to topic now > CUTTING DOESN'T HELP. GO DRINK MILK. It is better. <3
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Re: have u ever cut you're self?

Post by Krissy on Thu Jan 27, 2011 4:40 pm

wow Winter.That's not good at all.I"m so very sorry you had to go threw all that stuff.I can understand you for feelling that wasy about ur parents/ *Hugs*...Sends u love.......your parents should trust you.

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Re: have u ever cut you're self?

Post by FullMoon_LH on Fri Jan 28, 2011 10:56 am

Hey we've all had really shitty childhoods we used to get beat with belts and called sluts and all that. Iam so glad to be out of that situation. My mom was a drug addict and thats why i tried it in the first place. But ges wat that didnt help at all.Now wen i feel sad it all comes back to me. It sucks how the ppl we love made us and still make us feel like crap. Hopefully we can get through it all together.
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Re: have u ever cut you're self?

Post by Natt on Fri Jan 28, 2011 1:19 pm

Forace, please don’t say that my dad is ashole. He is my dad. He gave me life. He is part of my family and I love my dad because every person deserve on love, he also.

Yes, he stolen all my money, in this moment I don’t lost any things..only are visit bailiff and bailiff rang. Today rang one, new person from financial company.. I don’t want know what did my dad, again. Now he don’t has my money. We don’t have rent because we have home. Bills are 1 time at 3 months in Poland (water etc). But I give money from anothers biils also. Yes, he is alcoholic, unfortunately.

Honey, I’m so sorry that you have so hard life. I understand you because this is my forst memories in memory like hit. In my life was so more horrible things but I can’t say about all because this is too hard for me in this moment.

This is good that you, your mom and sister feel better, I’m sorry that your dad has a problem with health.

My eating disorder…the same said psychologist…even I thought that if I lost my weight people will be like me.. because I will be skinny… I want to be a skinny because I hate my body, my life. I don’t believe in myself. Every day I cry, I feel too unwanted. Thank you that I can write about it here what I feel , it so much mean for me that my thoughts are free and it smaller hurt me. When I write thought about cutting are smaller.

Yeah, pro ana sites… I was on forum… I read blog.. I hear music pro ana “I want to die and touch the sky ”.

Only, I feel that I’m awful owner KerliPoland because Kerli has fans in my country also on pro ana. But I don’t want have contact with these people, because I don’t know life in pro ana, die… and I think that I do bad that I don’t have a contact. Privately, I know 3-4 fans with eating disorders but we don’t talking about it. This is so egoistical but I feel that for me is more important my health than contact with Kerli fans in Poland with pro ana.

And I’m sorry that I so much write about myself, but psychologist said me that anorexia this is egoistical sick. I don’t feel awesome, really. Forace, really this is very hard stoping counting calories, this is like addiction for me. I know that all my life I will be have problem with it, even if I’ll win it eg for 10, 15 years I’ll be can do come back..

Yesterday, I wanted cutting, it was so hard emotions but I won…..

Honey, thank you for your support.

Krissy, I know media all time promote it.

Winter, I’m so sorry. Your parents aren’t nice for you. They should understand that you feel and you have law live like you want. It was so horrible what he did you. Please, take care about yourself and be strong. I love you and I believe in you!!!!

FullMoon_LH , yes, we has/have hard life but we are fighter and we must fight and win this life!!
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Re: have u ever cut you're self?

Post by Forace on Sat Jan 29, 2011 8:22 am

KerliPoland wrote:Forace, please don’t say that my dad is ashole. He is my dad. He gave me life. He is part of my family and I love my dad because every person deserve on love, he also.

Yes, he stolen all my money, in this moment I don’t lost any things..only are visit bailiff and bailiff rang. Today rang one, new person from financial company.. I don’t want know what did my dad, again. Now he don’t has my money. We don’t have rent because we have home. Bills are 1 time at 3 months in Poland (water etc). But I give money from anothers biils also. Yes, he is alcoholic, unfortunately.
I'm sorry if I offended you with that, but he is an asshole... Because of the way he's behaving towards you. If he cared about you, he wouldn't take your money. He wouldn't call you a whore. He'd be worried sick about your depression and eating disorder. He should be helping you, not putting you down.

I don't know, maybe the way he's behaving IS because he's worried? He doesn't know how to help you, so he's confused and behaves badly... People behave in very weird ways sometimes :/ Right now he's just making you feel worse and worse. He deserves your love when he says he's sorry for everything he has done. Has he always been like that? Or has something changed? Maybe the situation is the reason he's like this now.

But it's good you haven't lost any stuff. Yet. Your dad should start getting money from somewhere else than you. Does he have a job? He really, really should focus on helping you and paying the bills, so the bailiff won't come anymore... Also, he should quit playing with the alcohol, it's so pathetic when people let some liquid control their life.

KerliPoland wrote:Honey, I’m so sorry that you have so hard life. I understand you because this is my forst memories in memory like hit. In my life was so more horrible things but I can’t say about all because this is too hard for me in this moment.
It wasn't that hard now that I look back. It could have been much worse :D But I'm happy how things have turned out. If my past had been different, I'd probably be different now. If I had got everything I ever wanted, I'd probably be an arrogant bitch :D I'm happy the way I am right now. "All I want is right here".
You should look at your past life and think: "I survived that. I'm stronger now". Then put it behind you. Not forget, just not think about it all the time and learn.

KerliPoland wrote:This is good that you, your mom and sister feel better, I’m sorry that your dad has a problem with health.
Thank you dear :) Diabetes runs in the family. One of my cousins died because of it. He just didn't take care of himself anymore. He lost a lot of weight and he was almost blind. He had to walk with walking sticks, because his legs couldn't hold him anymore by themselves. He was so tired :(
Only my cousin and my dad have diabetes, so it skips generations... I might get it, too, if I don't take care of myself. Or maybe my child will have it? It worries me a lot :'(

KerliPoland wrote:My eating disorder…the same said psychologist…even I thought that if I lost my weight people will be like me.. because I will be skinny… I want to be a skinny because I hate my body, my life. I don’t believe in myself. Every day I cry, I feel too unwanted. Thank you that I can write about it here what I feel , it so much mean for me that my thoughts are free and it smaller hurt me. When I write thought about cutting are smaller.
People will like you whether you're fat, skinny, blue or glittery. It's just that right now, the people around you, are the wrong people for you. You need nice people around you. Other Moonchildren :) So you can always write here whatever you feel like, we're here to help each other :)

KerliPoland wrote:Only, I feel that I’m awful owner KerliPoland because Kerli has fans in my country also on pro ana. But I don’t want have contact with these people, because I don’t know life in pro ana, die… and I think that I do bad that I don’t have a contact. Privately, I know 3-4 fans with eating disorders but we don’t talking about it. This is so egoistical but I feel that for me is more important my health than contact with Kerli fans in Poland with pro ana.
You're the perfect owner of KerliPoland! You love Kerli, right? And you want to spread ILU? That's all that it takes :) You love people and want them to be happy. You don't have to stay away from other Kerli fans, who have anorexia, but only if they want to get better! If they are truly pro ana, they are not good for you. They will try to get you into thinking that anorexia is good, too. It's not, it's a sickness and it shouldn't be embraced... If you can find another Kerli fan with anorexia, who wants to get better, you could do it together! With a sickness like this, you HAVE to be egoistical. I'm so happy you want to get better. You don't need the bad influence of pro ana girls :)

By the way, can you give me a link to a pro ana site? I want to see.

KerliPoland wrote:And I’m sorry that I so much write about myself, but psychologist said me that anorexia this is egoistical sick. I don’t feel awesome, really. Forace, really this is very hard stoping counting calories, this is like addiction for me. I know that all my life I will be have problem with it, even if I’ll win it eg for 10, 15 years I’ll be can do come back..
Don't be sorry, we ARE talking about you :) We are talking about me, too. And what we're thinking about this subject. I know it's hard to stop doing something you've been doing for a long time. When you win the addiction, there's always the danger you'll start doing it again. Like alcoholics, they can't drink ANY alcohol, because (for some reason) they love the taste of alcohol, so the sickness just comes back again and they're drunk again. You have to have a lot of willpower to refuse the temptation. You have to FIRMLY DECIDE: "I will NOT do this again! I'm am stronger than that!" Say that over and over again, and you start believing in it!

You know why? Because you've been doing the opposite all the time! You've been saying to yourself: "I am ugly and fat. I should die" and you believe in that. ONLY you believe in that. EVERYBODY else on this forum is telling you the opposite: you're not fat, you're beautiful, you're nice, we want you here. You should see you are wrong! It's your opinion against everybody else's! The majority is right on this one. You should realize that it's your depression doing the talking, you're not really like that. Being happy is normal, being sad all the time is not. It's the depression doing the thinking now.

KerliPoland wrote:Yesterday, I wanted cutting, it was so hard emotions but I won…..
So you didn't do it? I'm so proud of you! That's how you should always do, don't take the knife no matter how much you want to. Instead, come here. Or write into a diary about your emotions. NEVER EVER take a knife when you're feeling sad! If you can continue this, you have done a great break-through! The first steps into getting better :)

Just keep taking one day at a time.
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Re: have u ever cut you're self?

Post by Natt on Sat Jan 29, 2011 2:33 pm

Forace wrote:I don't know, maybe the way he's behaving IS because he's worried? He doesn't know how to help you, so he's confused and behaves badly... People behave in very weird ways sometimes :/ Right now he's just making you feel worse and worse. He deserves your love when he says he's sorry for everything he has done. Has he always been like that? Or has something changed? Maybe the situation is the reason he's like this now.

Not, my problems are my problems. His reaction isn't connect with my problems. In his life were anothers elements. This was the reason why he started to drink. He was in arrest. He doesn't have any job.

Forace wrote:If I had got everything I ever wanted, I'd probably be an arrogant bitch

don't think about it, please

="Forace"I'm happy the way I am right now. "All I want is right here".
You should look at your past life and think: "I survived that. I'm stronger now". Then put it behind you. Not forget, just not think about it all the time and learn.

Your words are so beautiful and you have so much strenght

And this is so horrible that in your family people are diabetes Sad Please, take care about yourself. Health is very important. I hope that you, your child and your family will be heallth all time. Be strong, please. Now I want hug you, honey.

Forace wrote:People will like you whether you're fat, skinny, blue or glittery. It's just that right now, the people around you, are the wrong people for you. You need nice people around you. Other Moonchildren Smile So you can always write here whatever you feel like, we're here to help each other Smile

in Poland I have only isn't nice people around me. Thank you very much that you are and others persons. I love you so much!!!

Forace wrote:You're the perfect owner of KerliPoland! You love Kerli, right? And you want to spread ILU? That's all that it takes Smile You love people and want them to be happy. You don't have to stay away from other Kerli fans, who have anorexia, but only if they want to get better! If they are truly pro ana, they are not good for you. They will try to get you into thinking that anorexia is good, too. It's not, it's a sickness and it shouldn't be embraced... If you can find another Kerli fan with anorexia, who wants to get better, you could do it together! With a sickness like this, you HAVE to be egoistical. I'm so happy you want to get better. You don't need the bad influence of pro ana girls Smile

I'm not perfect. Perfection isn't good. Yes, I love Kerli so much!!!!! Yes, I spread ILU all time in my life. I heard Kerli first time on pro ana, she is even popular in web sites about pro ana. She is thinspiration for people, but I don't know like people can treate so Kerli Sad I like Kerli fan with ed... even someone is for me so close person... but talking about ed with person which is sick also isn't good because we when will be talking about it, we can encourage to dieting but we can don't know about it...

Forace wrote:By the way, can you give me a link to a pro ana site? I want to see.

I'm sorry but lately I try finished my contact with pro ana sites... and I apologize but I can't.. really I don't want go to pro ana sites because when I look I will be read etc If you want see, please write on google "pro ana", forgive me???


Forace wrote:You know why? Because you've been doing the opposite all the time! You've been saying to yourself: "I am ugly and fat. I should die" and you believe in that. ONLY you believe in that. EVERYBODY else on this forum is telling you the opposite: you're not fat, you're beautiful, you're nice, we want you here. You should see you are wrong! It's your opinion against everybody else's! The majority is right on this one. You should realize that it's your depression doing the talking, you're not really like that. Being happy is normal, being sad all the time is not. It's the depression doing the thinking now.

I don't know, really... this is very complicated all time..

Forace wrote:So you didn't do it? I'm so proud of you! That's how you should always do, don't take the knife no matter how much you want to. Instead, come here. Or write into a diary about your emotions. NEVER EVER take a knife when you're feeling sad! If you can continue this, you have done a great break-through! The first steps into getting better Smile

Just keep taking one day at a time.

Yes, I didn't it... thank you, thank you so much that you are here :*





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Re: have u ever cut you're self?

Post by FullMoon_LH on Sat Jan 29, 2011 3:40 pm

natt i think your a beautiful and strong person because of your situation and yet you still fight and go on. that takes more strength than alot of ppl have. just remember you have a friend in us.
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Re: have u ever cut you're self?

Post by Forace on Sat Jan 29, 2011 5:00 pm

KerliPoland wrote:Not, my problems are my problems. His reaction isn't connect with my problems. In his life were anothers elements. This was the reason why he started to drink. He was in arrest. He doesn't have any job.
OK. Why was he arrested? Did he drink before he was arrested? I'm sorry if I ask too much, I'm just trying to get a picture of your family life, so I could maybe help more :)
Your dad knows about your depression and anorexia? Then why is he calling you names... He should know he's hurting you with his words :(
How honest can you be with him? Can you go to him and say: "your words hurt me and make me sad. I'd like you to help me get better. I want you to stop drinking and get a job. I don't want to lose you to alcohol" or something similar? I see two options with your father; either he gets better and starts helping you, or he gets more depressed himself and you must get away from him so you can get better. You are too young to be taking care of a grown man, who should be capable of taking care of himself :<

KerliPoland wrote:don't think about it, please
Aww :) I think things like that, so I can see how good and happy I am like this. I'm also grateful to my parents for not giving me everything. My mom tells me we didn't have much money when I was a kid, and that we didn't always have food, but I don't remember any of that. I just remember mom made good food ^^ I've told her that, because she was so sorry about my childhood. We moved around a lot, she's sorry for that, too. I keep telling her there's no need to be sorry, and she's the best mom ever. That makes her happy :)

KerliPoland wrote:Your words are so beautiful and you have so much strenght

And this is so horrible that in your family people are diabetes Please, take care about yourself. Health is very important. I hope that you, your child and your family will be heallth all time. Be strong, please. Now I want hug you, honey.
I'm trying to lose weight, so I don't get diabetes... That's the best way to fight it :) If I ever have children, I hope they'll be healthy... There's also cancer in my family, one cousin survived it, but my grandmother died from it... Those come from my father's side, I don't know what diseases are on my mother's side... Maybe asthma :D But I've been pretty healthy all my life, so I guess there's no really need to worry.

KerliPoland wrote:in Poland I have only isn't nice people around me. Thank you very much that you are and others persons. I love you so much!!!
We love you too, honey <3 You just have to bear these people for now. I'm sure that when you move somewhere else, you'll find nice people. I had no friends in the city where I used to live, but when I moved here, I instantly got new friends... And a boyfriend, which I wasn't expecting at all :D

KerliPoland wrote:I'm not perfect. Perfection isn't good. Yes, I love Kerli so much!!!!! Yes, I spread ILU all time in my life. I heard Kerli first time on pro ana, she is even popular in web sites about pro ana. She is thinspiration for people, but I don't know like people can treate so Kerli I like Kerli fan with ed... even someone is for me so close person... but talking about ed with person which is sick also isn't good because we when will be talking about it, we can encourage to dieting but we can don't know about it...
You're right, perfection isn't good. And no one is perfect, we are who we are :) I think that a cracked window is prettier and more interesting than a smooth one.
Oh my, then those pro ana people are not good for you... If they don't want to get better :'( But I'm so happy that you do, that's the most important thing... The only good thing you got from those sites, is Kerli. She inspires you to get better. That's very good :)
\\Edit: I forgot to say, that Kerli shouldn't be used for thinspiration, since she is not anorectic! I think it's very disgraceful towards Kerli :<

KerliPoland wrote:I'm sorry but lately I try finished my contact with pro ana sites... and I apologize but I can't.. really I don't want go to pro ana sites because when I look I will be read etc If you want see, please write on google "pro ana", forgive me???
Of course I forgive you, I can do it myself :) I just asked, that maybe I could see the sites you have read, but it's OK. I was also kind of testing you, would you go to a pro ana site if I asked. And you didn't! I'm even more proud of you :) Keep it up, don't go to those sites ever again. They're bad.

KerliPoland wrote:I don't know, really... this is very complicated all time..
I know it is. Can you try something for me? Look at your face in the mirror, and stay calm. Do not think anything negative. Look at your eyes. Look how your eyebrows go. Look at your nose. Look at your lips. Touch your cheeks. Really look at the person looking back at you. Try to get to know her better. Then tell her: "you are beautiful". I know this may sound silly, but try anyway :) Say "you are beautiful" many times, out loud. Tell me how do you feel after this?
The point is, I want you to see how you see yourself when you are saying something positive about yourself.

You are a strong person, and you are getting even stronger already :)


Last edited by Forace on Sat Jan 29, 2011 5:27 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Re: have u ever cut you're self?

Post by Krissy on Sat Jan 29, 2011 5:07 pm

Natt. I really hope things will get better for you girl. I know in time they will.. Just remember that we love and care about you.

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Re: have u ever cut you're self?

Post by Natt on Sun Jan 30, 2011 4:02 am

FullMoon_LH wrote:natt i think your a beautiful and strong person because of your situation and yet you still fight and go on. that takes more strength than alot of ppl have. just remember you have a friend in us.

FullMoon_TH thank you for your words Smile I know that you are my friends because you are my family. Thank you very much.


Forace wrote:OK. Why was he arrested? Did he drink before he was arrested? I'm sorry if I ask too much, I'm just trying to get a picture of your family life, so I could maybe help more Smile

It was corruption scandal... it was so awful... and it very hurted me http://www.money.pl/archiwum/wiadomosci_agencyjne/pap/artykul/krakow;oskarzeni;o;korupcje;przy;nielegalnym;poborze;pradu,245,0,247541.html He was
warehouseman. Thank you for your help. you so much helped me, that I feel ashamed Crying or Very sad

Forace wrote:Your dad knows about your depression and anorexia? Then why is he calling you names... He should know he's hurting you with his words Sad
How honest can you be with him? Can you go to him and say: "your words hurt me and make me sad. I'd like you to help me get better. I want you to stop drinking and get a job. I don't want to lose you to alcohol" or something similar? I see two options with your father; either he gets better and starts helping you, or he gets more depressed himself and you must get away from him so you can get better. You are too young to be taking care of a grown man, who should be capable of taking care of himself :<

Honey, this isn't depression, only depressed..my family is so happy that "I'm so skinny" . Really, I can't go to my dad...Forace in my life was millions things,..you know only part my life...worst part life is my secret..
I'm sorry..

Forace wrote:Aww Smile I think things like that, so I can see how good and happy I am like this. I'm also grateful to my parents for not giving me everything. My mom tells me we didn't have much money when I was a kid, and that we didn't always have food, but I don't remember any of that. I just remember mom made good food ^^ I've told her that, because she was so sorry about my childhood. We moved around a lot, she's sorry for that, too. I keep telling her there's no need to be sorry, and she's the best mom ever. That makes her happy Smile

I feel that your parents now are proud of you and should be!!! I'm proud that I know you and everybody here. I think that money isn't important, the most important is love. You have so many experience and you know now what is the better for you Smile

Forace wrote:I'm trying to lose weight, so I don't get diabetes... That's the best way to fight it Smile If I ever have children, I hope they'll be healthy... There's also cancer in my family, one cousin survived it, but my grandmother died from it... Those come from my father's side, I don't know what diseases are on my mother's side... Maybe asthma Very Happy But I've been pretty healthy all my life, so I guess there's no really need to worry.

I'm so sorry. Genetic diseases are horrible, but our hope is medicine and it is growing all the time.Healthy living is important.

Forace wrote:I'm sure that when you move somewhere else, you'll find nice people

I want but I can't do it Sad

Forace wrote:I forgot to say, that Kerli shouldn't be used for thinspiration, since she is not anorectic! I think it's very disgraceful towards Kerli :<

I hate when people do it Kerli, her photos, songs (3 are thinspirations)and etc this is so sick...

Forace wrote:Of course I forgive you, I can do it myself Smile I just asked, that maybe I could see the sites you have read, but it's OK. I was also kind of testing you, would you go to a pro ana site if I asked. And you didn't! I'm even more proud of you Smile Keep it up, don't go to those sites ever again. They're bad


thanks.. yeah pro ana this is shit...

Forace wrote:I know it is. Can you try something for me? Look at your face in the mirror, and stay calm. Do not think anything negative. Look at your eyes. Look how your eyebrows go. Look at your nose. Look at your lips. Touch your cheeks. Really look at the person looking back at you. Try to get to know her better. Then tell her: "you are beautiful". I know this may sound silly, but try anyway Smile Say "you are beautiful" many times, out loud. Tell me how do you feel after this?
The point is, I want you to see how you see yourself when you are saying something positive about yourself.

You are a strong person, and you are getting even stronger already Smile

I can't do it...this is to hard in this moment my life Sad And I'm not strong...

butterflycry2010 wrote:Natt. I really hope things will get better for you girl. I know in time they will.. Just remember that we love and care about you.

Krissy, I love you so much...



I'm affraid that we did off topic Sad
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Re: have u ever cut you're self?

Post by Krissy on Sun Jan 30, 2011 11:27 am

i love ya too natt

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Re: have u ever cut you're self?

Post by Forace on Sun Jan 30, 2011 3:50 pm

KerliPoland wrote:Thank you for your help. you so much helped me, that I feel ashamed
I'm so happy if I have helped you in at least with something :) So don't be ashamed, I've been trying hard to help you, so it makes me happy when you say that.

KerliPoland wrote:Honey, this isn't depression, only depressed..my family is so happy that "I'm so skinny" . Really, I can't go to my dad...Forace in my life was millions things,..you know only part my life...worst part life is my secret..
I'm sorry..
It is depression if you're sad all the time and can't see anything good in the future... No wonder you feel so alone, if your family thinks like that! But it's good you know what's good for you, that you have to get better. Well, if your family can't help you, come tell us about everything you feel like telling, or send a PM to someone you trust on ToL :)

KerliPoland wrote:I feel that your parents now are proud of you and should be!!! I'm proud that I know you and everybody here. I think that money isn't important, the most important is love. You have so many experience and you know now what is the better for you
I guess they are at least a little proud of me. I know my mom is, she's happy that I'm not alone anymore. My dad will be more proud of me when I finish my school :DD But it's hard for me, I'm too used to doing things wrong and I'm almost always tired... I feel like I can't concentrate on the assignments, because they don't interest me at the moment :/ But I should just DO them, and it'll be over then. And I could continue with my job.

KerliPoland wrote:I want but I can't do it
You're right, you can't do it right now... But you surely will, after you have everything sorted out!

KerliPoland wrote:thanks.. yeah pro ana this is shit...
You have no idea how happy that makes me :) Last night I spent hours reading about anorexia, and about pro ana, and it made me so sad... That there are actually people who want to do it! All the tips were sick, and not good for anyone's organism... You can lose weight in a healthy way :< I told about them to my fiance, you should have seen his face, because he had never heard of pro ana :D He was really stunned.
Those sites can make anybody feel they are fat, at least I felt like it... But don't worry, I'm not going to do like them, I choose the healthy way :) I'm even more convinced that pro ana sites are bad! It was some of the biggest bullshit I've ever read. There really is no need to torture one's body like that...

Promise me you'll learn to eat? Little by little? Make a salad first, and add a little piece of chicken, just a little... Do you like apples? They are one of my favorite fruit :)

KerliPoland wrote:I can't do it...this is to hard in this moment my life :( And I'm not strong...
It's OK, I'd just like you to test how it feels like when you say something like that out loud... Because you need to hear it, from someone :< I can write to you all day long, saying how beautiful you are, but you see only text. It would be different to actually hear it.

And you are strong! You proved that to me when you didn't cut yourself when you wanted to :) Just keep going like that!

KerliPoland wrote:I'm affraid that we did off topic :(
I don't think we're that much off-topic, since -like I said- everything affects everything... Even if we are off-topic, I'm sure it doesn't matter that much. I think that our conversation can help someone, if they have a similar situation. But we can continue talking somewhere else, if you want to.

If I could, I would hug all your troubles away.
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Re: have u ever cut you're self?

Post by Krissy on Sun Jan 30, 2011 4:10 pm

well girl.anytime you need to vent.You have tons of people to chat with her. Very Happy

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Re: have u ever cut you're self?

Post by Natt on Tue Feb 01, 2011 1:52 pm

honey, I'm sorry I'll be ask tommorow because I'm too depressed
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Re: have u ever cut you're self?

Post by Natt on Wed Feb 02, 2011 4:35 am


Forace wrote:I'm so happy if I have helped you in at least with something Smile So don't be ashamed, I've been trying hard to help you, so it makes me happy when you say that.

Thank you very much, honey. You are so awesome person. But I feel ashames because I don't know if I do good when I write here, because I don't want to be problem here.


Forace wrote:It is depression if you're sad all the time and can't see anything good in the future... No wonder you feel so alone, if your family thinks like that! But it's good you know what's good for you, that you have to get better. Well, if your family can't help you, come tell us about everything you feel like telling, or send a PM to someone you trust on ToL Smile

psychologist said to me that this isn't depression, only I feel wrong because this is start theraphy and now is battle inside me. Thank you very much for all. I love every person here.

I guess they are at least a little proud of me. I know my mom is, she's happy that I'm not alone anymore. My dad will be more proud of me when I finish my school :DD But it's hard for me, I'm too used to doing things wrong and I'm almost always tired... I feel like I can't concentrate on the assignments, because they don't interest me at the moment :/ But I should just DO them, and it'll be over then. And I could continue with my job.

but they support you?? this is very important that you feel their love and support.

Forace wrote:Promise me you'll learn to eat? Little by little? Make a salad first, and add a little piece of chicken, just a little... Do you like apples? They are one of my favorite fruit Smile

I can't promise only I can try... I hate apples because when I was a child I ate 2,3apples every day

Forace wrote:If I could, I would hug all your troubles away.

thank you, I feel you


Krissy <3
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Re: have u ever cut you're self?

Post by Krissy on Thu Feb 03, 2011 9:06 am

Like a Star @ heaven Very Happy I love you

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Re: have u ever cut you're self?

Post by FullMoon_LH on Mon Feb 14, 2011 7:54 am

We all have to be strong cuz thats what we have each other for. For help when we need to talk.
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Re: have u ever cut you're self?

Post by Krissy on Mon Feb 14, 2011 7:58 am

That's very true!!We just need to find much better things to do to deal with pain instead of cutting.

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Re: have u ever cut you're self?

Post by Natt on Mon Feb 14, 2011 9:17 am

yes, you're right. i believe in your words
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Re: have u ever cut you're self?

Post by Krissy on Fri Feb 18, 2011 8:28 am

Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy yuppie!!!

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Re: have u ever cut you're self?

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